Marc has finally racked up number 1000 according to Battleclinic. Despite a couple abortive attempts at getting the milestone kill in a Rifter, I ended up doing it in a Hurricane. Kill number one thousand took literally tons of patience, a bit of deviousness, and not as much DPS as I had brought to the fight. It also made my victim quit Eve, which is quite fun as well.
I had been in search of a ‘good kill’ to mark number 1000 for a couple days, passing on easy kills in gatecamps and what have you. Then the Fourth of July came around. Being one of the few Americans without a barbeque to attend on the day of, I settled for pounding beers (thanks BevMo) and playing Eve. While I had visions of a day long demonstration of Eve fireworks and explosions, I should have realized that once it passed into US TZ, there wouldn’t be many targets on.

So, I was frustrated as the night drew on. Until I saw an Armageddon, self named, undock in Aeschee and warp around the system. It belonged to a one month old character. I contemplated taking it in my Rifter, but decided against it as taking too long. Though Aeschee was more or less deserted at the time, it never stays that way for long. So I got my probing alt down to Aeschee and went for a Hurricane in Lesbotrain.

By the time my prober arrived though, the Armageddon was already well on its way out of lowsec, passing into Adirain and autopiloting into Arnon, where Marc couldn’t go. As a last ditch effort, I opened a convo with the pilot on my probing alt and set to work getting him back into lowsec. The eminent philosopher and terrible Eve pilot Spectre3533 showed me the ‘social engineering’ aspect of pirating when I very first started in early ’09. In fact, my second pirating kill was a Raven that Spectre lured into a safe spot where many Monsters and Pythons waited to kill him. So, it was fitting in a certain way that I get number 1000 using this particular devious method.

I was about 13 beers in at that point (Birra Moretti on the desk and going down fast), so I didn’t need to ‘mask’ my typing in newbness very much – the alcohol did it for me. Slurring all over the keyboard, I conveyed the fact that I had lost my missioning hurricane just short of completing the objective, and inquired as to whether the newb in the Geddon could help. He eventually agreed.

I gave my probing alt a throwaway safe spot from Marc and retired to the spot in my Hurricane, waiting for the Armageddon to land in my lap. At about this time, Terror came back from trying to knock out power in his neighborhood with 300 dollars worth of fireworks and I invited him in on the fun. After a very long wait as the newb attempted to fit up his brand spanking new battleship, he finally popped up in local. Just as he did, our private conversation took an ironic turn as I strung him along:

[ 2011.07.05 03:39:47 ] Probing Alt > losing  a ship always makes me frazzled :P
[ 2011.07.05 03:40:24 ] Kenichi Suzahara > yea i know, i got so pissed last time i actually quit the game LOL

With Terror and I giggling on comms like the two drunkards we in fact were, my probing alt initiated a fleet warp to the safe spot. The Armageddon landed and was pointed.

[ 2011.07.05 03:42:28 ] Kenichi Suzahara > wow really

Yes, really. Republic Fleet Fusion M tore into the battleship, dismantling it in a hurry. It soon hit structure and the pilot left Eve with a parting shot in fleet:

[ 2011.07.05 03:44:48 ] Kenichi Suzahara > that was really fucked up

Well, yeah it was. Armageddon gone and pod emergency warped out, Terror and I began to align out to wait out our GCC. Thankfully, I was in a very slow armor ‘cane. I had only moved about 5km when the pilot’s name appeared in local, followed shortly after by the arrival of his pod. It was pointed, and conversation ensued. We tried to make him sing for his pod, but he was having none of it:

[ 2011.07.05 03:46:03 ] Kenichi Suzahara > i really don’t give a shit, i quit
[ 2011.07.05 03:47:24 ] Kenichi Suzahara > yea, i am done with eve
[ 2011.07.05 03:48:08 ] Kenichi Suzahara > nope, well hopefully you guys get whats coming to you one day
[ 2011.07.05 03:48:15 ] Kenichi Suzahara > good bye

And he logged again. So we podded him. Kill #1001.

It wasn’t all newbs on the Fourth though, as I got into two very fun fights with Tuskers in T1 frigs. However, this little story is already pushing 900 words, so I will save that for tomorrow. Before I go though, I did want to recount some stats at the 1000 kill mark, as reported by Battleclinic:

1000 Kills : 64 Losses
31.25 Billion ISK Killed : 1.65 Billion ISK Lost
292 Pods Killed : 5 Pods Lost (4 of them while AFK in a safe)
130 Battlecruisers Killed : 15 Lost (seems like a lot more)
47 Battleships Killed : 0 Lost (I can hardly fly one)
1 Dreadnought Killed
35 Exhumers Killed
44 Mining Barges Killed
Only 3 Tech 3 ships Killed

The one that stands out the most to me of all those is, of course, the Dread kill. Despite the fact that he was failfit and an even bigger fail pilot, the simple fact that I’ve seen a Dread up close and killed it, despite never having spent appreciable time in Nullsec, never having so much as piloted a Carrier (in fact, only having been in a battleship twice), seems to me somewhat unique.

At any rate, enough prattling on about stats and the like. Now I’ve broken the 1000 kill mark, I can get back to the business at hand: having fun, training newbs, and setting shit on fire.

Fly Smart,
Marc

Posted in carebear rage/tears silly carebears
5 Comments Posted by Marc